yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
