If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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