Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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