the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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