Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
