Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
