youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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