WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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