At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
