I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize