I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
