Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
