Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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