I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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