i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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