How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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