You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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