Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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