i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Randomize
