ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
