My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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