I think i sorta joined a cult last night
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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