I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
