An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
