if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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