I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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