i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I had to cum in my sink.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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