i think my mom watched the whole time
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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