All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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