CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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