you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
