Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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