They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
