So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
