I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
