It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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