he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize