I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
