so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
