I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
