Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
