I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
