I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
