absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize