the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
