you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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