Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
