After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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