Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
