"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
