is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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