I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You're a waste of cheezeits
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize