ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I think my fart just growled at me.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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