Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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