mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
