woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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