whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
