We named our party play list daddy issues
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
