Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
