Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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