You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
