therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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