I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
