I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
