Me. At least after what I've been through.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
