did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
