Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
