i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She announced her abortion via fbk
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
